i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
