either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
