So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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