I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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