You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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