the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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