Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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