I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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