sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Couch. On fire.
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