Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize