Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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