yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
