thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
