who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
