Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
