Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
