I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
