is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
