Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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