saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize