do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize