how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
