You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
