Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Sorry my hands just texted you
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
