I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
