i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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