He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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