looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize