You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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