in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
