Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
