i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize