Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
