i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Its about making memories worth repressing
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
