Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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