Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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