can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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