Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize