My balls are so social today.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
