you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
