So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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