you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize