She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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