remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
