Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
