omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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