I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
