i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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