so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
