I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize