After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Come see our sink grown plant.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
