how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
