That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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