This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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