I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
