she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
