She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
