Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
where are you?
Hypothermia
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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