their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Blood and glitter go together right?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Come share oat with me in your robe
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
