Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He shit in the fireplace
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
