yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
and you fell through a lawn chair
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
