U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The air taste purple.
Randomize
