I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
