she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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