I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
