He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
