But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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