Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
